


I wouldn't mind.

by RaeWagner



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blood, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, Feels, Fluff, Fondling, Forced Bonding, Gen, Gore, Kidnapping, Masturbation, Molestation, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Obsession, Oral Sex, Other, Sexual Frustration, Teasing, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-12 22:08:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4496565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaeWagner/pseuds/RaeWagner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poinsettia Russo Has let her sense of adventure guide her away from her homeland and Into the military to Protect all from Titans. Intrigued by his quiet, shy demeanor, She falls for the mysterious Bertholdt Hoover (Fubar) After which both her loyalty and Heart and Tugged at and tested.</p><p> </p><p>AN: I have A WHOLE Playlist of music I listened to as I started to write this, One I will be rapidly uploading, Bertholdt Has Grown on me, A Lot, And I don't really know why. My Goodness, I can't even, ^w^</p><p>I do Now Own ANYTHING! Only the Ocs I create, Gazie Mille.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I didn't think it was possible, I didn't want it to be true, Didn't want to believe.

''That's why Feifer said you weren't safe.'' I realized, I didn't look at him, Not even through the bit of fringe that had fallen in my face. I had dropped my head and cleared my mind. ''I didn't want you to find out t-that way.'' Came his quiet reply. His soft voice touched me in a way that almost felt like an inaudible,  _'I'm sorry, Don't leave'_  ''Bertholdt.'' I muttered. I heard the shuffling of hesitant feet, then two hands placed themselves on each of my shoulders.  _Not just a Titan, A colossal Titan, The Colossal Titan. I'd seen it with my own eyes! It was him, emerging from the Titan's neck._ I was hesitant, afraid, I knew what would happen the minute I looked up; I would start yelling, Then crying, Then hugging him.

 ''Does this mean, It's- I mean, Whatever we had, Is over?'' I inhaled sharply, like I'd just had my foot stepped on. ''You...'' I bit my lip and looked back Up at him, trying to seem composed. ''Does this mean, That the next time I fly into a rage, You'd try to kill me?'' I furrowed my brows, Feeling angry at myself for earlier, Feeling angry at him. Angry that'd he'd even dare to ask me that.  _But you're too young for love._  The words of my mother echoed through my head. She was wrong. I felt the familiar stinging sensation in my eyes and I fought, blinking rapidly. Crying now would make me appear weak. I waited, Retraced my thoughts again and before I held my breath for about two minutes and then Exhaled.

''No.''   
  
************************

_''You, Join the Military and slay Titans?'' Mother's dark eyes rested on me for a second before she turned back to the pot._

_''How unladylike.'' Nerine, My brother, Laughed. ''You'll be devoured  quickly, You're always zoning out and you have a lack of focus, Tell me sissy duck, How much of that can you repeat back to me?''_

I stared at Nerine in his bed and growled at the memory. ''I'll show you and mother both.'' I whispered into the darkness.  I buckled my satchel shut and hopped the fence in our back yard. I was on my way and nothing was going to stop me.

My Mother always said that my sense of adventure was the key to my undoing, and I wanted to test that right now. How? Joining the military of course. I wanted to explore, I wanted to slay Titans and I wanted to know What it was like to have a sense of freedom. I wouldn't be killed. I knew that for sure. Mom would wake up in the morning to me gone and will surely claim that I have, 'Run away.' I wouldn't say it was running away, not really. Bye mom, I don't mean to break your heart, Good bye Nernine, Enjoy my oatmeal. You wimp. I was late in training, So what? I was a rather fast learner and I know enough already, I'd say anyways.

I pulled the front of my cloak up to protect me from the cold air, I wonder if Nerine had woken up and found my letter, What would he say about it? Would he laugh? How would mother take it? I frowned and looked down at my feet. I don't even remember what the note had said. I figured it didn't matter, I was on my way and I wouldn't look back. That, at least, Was something I was very good at; Not looking back. Regret, I assure you, Was not in my Vocabulary.

I made my way around the market and Slowly made my Way to HQ. My hair, A bundle of long, messy,  scarlet waves was pulled back into a braid, and there was a hood on my head. Soldiers were passing me, Their Uniforms looked so neat. I couldn't wait to dawn one! I inhaled sharply, My hands shaking as I drew nearer.~~~~~~~

**2 and a half years pass.**

''Hey, Since when did we have a Poinsettia Russo?'' A sleepy Connie Springer Sat at the table with a spreadsheet in his hand. He yawned and made n Fuss A Jean Took it out of his hand. ''Grad rank 11, Woah, This was recently changed.'' He noted. ''Must have gotten here a few nights ago. Why haven't I seen him yet?'' Connie, Even when tired, had enough energy for an early morning wise crack; ''He's probably hiding from you.'' He said with a slight smirk.

Minora Cane Rolled her chocolate colored eyes and shook her head. ''I saw her earlier I think, She's hard to miss. But she's very Aloof.'' Jean chuckled. ''C'mon Minnie, Bertholdt is over there.'' Minora cracked a tiny smile and folded her arms. ''Maybe she'll be at dinner?'' She Mumbled and stood. ''She can't hide all day, You'll probably catch her training  or something.'' Jean closed his eyes in thought and let out another laugh, ''Nah, Watch her be another little looser who can't fight worth a damn.'' Connie bit his lip. ''Watch Her be able to kick your ass.'' He snicked and turned away.

The bustling made her pause and think twice, She took a hesitant step forward, then back.  _You..You're not that hungry._ She tried to force the thought on herself and tucked some hair behind her ear.  she figured that it was best to go and check out her bunk, she'd decided to sleep under the stars the previous night. She didn't want to meet new people just yet, She'd met her Captain, What a cheeful guy he was, The very thought of him made her grit her teeth and roll her eyes once more. She wasn't feeling the slightest twinge of regret, Not just yet. She sat on the empty bed she'd claimed as hers and opened up a page in the journal her mother had given her, Made from Parchment as had a leathery type binding on it, This had been one of the birthday presents she actually liked. ''You! You ranked 11 didn't you?!'' She jumped at the voice and closed the book in a flurry, Before her stood a rather tall girl with brunette hair that was tied in a ponytail and amber eyes. She sounded a little funny to be honest.

''Yeah, That's me. My Name Is Poinsettia.'' She held out a hand. The brunette smiled. ''I'm Sasha, Where're you from?'' Poinsettia turned her body and took Sasha's hand. ''It doesn't matter.'' She muttered. ''I'm probably never going back.'' Sasha sat down on the opposite side of poinsettia and tilted her head to the side. ''You weren't at dinner last night.'' poinsettia looked away. ''Awww, You're shy!'' She Cried and her hands shot out to grab the other's cheeks. ''Shy Setty, Shy Setty!'' Poinsettia blushed, No one had called her that before, Tia was usual. In response, She turned and snapped her teeth at Sasha's hand, grazing a finger. ''There aren't many shy people here, You can't afford it, Sooo. I'd  brush that off fast!'' She advised while Patting her head. Inside, Poinsettia scowled, she wondered if all the Soldiers were carefree like this. Sasha smiled and held out her hand. ''Come on, You can't stay in here all day, You have to get out.'' 

  
  



	2. Ch.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I actually forgot to update for almost 4 years...

''Are You alright?'' Reiner's voice Brought The other Jade Eyed male out of his zoned out trance and back into Reality, They'd been walking for some time, clearing their heads. Annie, Curious, Perked. What Had gotten into him lately. ''W-what did you say?'' The timid male looked up from the ground and at his friend. ''I said, Are you alright?'' Bertholdt bit his inner cheek and nodded. ''I'm fine.'' He mumbled. Reiner smiled. ''I saw your New girlfriend earlier.'' Annie turned her head slightly, smirking a bit. She was far more into the conversation than it appeared. ''She's Not my Girlfriend, I-I.I mean...She's barely even said two words to me since she got here.'' ''SO you do like her?!'' The blonde teased with a smile. ''N-no.'' Bertholdt pouted inwardly rubbing the back of his neck and looking back down at the ground. He remembered they day They'd first met. How could he not? it'd Been three weeks ago, when she'd first got here. Poinsettia.

 

''Damn It.'' a shaken Minora scowled at a smirking Poinsettia, Her deep Scarlet Hair was pulled back in a high up ponytail, Her grey eyes locked onto the spot where Her opponent stood. ''Alright, Alright Setty, You've proved your point. Save it for the Titans.'' Poinsettia giggled and put down the wooden dagger. Minora smiled back. ''Come on, Let's take a little walk.'' 

 

The two girls had began making a habit of this. ''You should come with us sometime, There's a little place we like to hang out, A few of us.'' Poinsettia was distracted. ''Minnie.'' She called softly. The tall, Light haired girl turned to her, ''Yeah.'' Who Is that guy who sits close to us in the hall, The tall one, With green eyes and -'' ''Bertholdt?'' She answered automatically. ''Yes, Him. I always Forgot his name. He's just so quiet...'' MInora rolled her eyes and nudged the small girl beside her. ''Here he comes, With Reiner and Annie of course.'' She sounded stiff. ''Just when I was beginning to think you wouldn't be able to survive a real battle, You're quick on your feet Russo.'' Poinsettia looked up, a small smile forming on her lips. ''Thanks, Braun.'' I muttered and bit my lip a bit.

 

''What do you think Bert, You think she's perfectly capable of taking down an ugly titan by herself?'' The Comment didn't dome from Reiner. Poinsettia looked up at the girl beside her and glared daggers but stayed quiet. She let her eyes wander to the she male's face as she waited for an answer. She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head. ''You don't have to answer for my sake.'' She responded. Despite her speaking quickly and confidently, She felt airy and her heard thrummed in her chest from being put on the spot like that. Bertholdt's eyes were seemingly glued to the ground as he spoke quietly. ''I think she could manage.'' Poinsettia let her hands fall to her sides and her cheeks felt warm. ''She's capable, Focus is the only think she lacks.'' ''Well she'd better snap out of it if she doesn't want to end up killed.'' Reiner smiled again and nodded. ''See you Girls later.'' Bertholdt looked up at Poinsettia and Immediately looked away. ''See you.'' He murmured and took off with his friends.

 

Poinsettia watched him go, The flare on her cheeks began to slowly die down and she wheeled around to give Minora A well deserved slap on the arm.~~

 

''If you keep staring at her like that, She's going to think you're creepy.'' Reiner whispered. His usual taunting smirk. Bertholdt looked back down at his food and grunted in protest. ''I wasn't.'' Came the low reply. He couldn't help it really. ''Try again.'' Reiner mumbled. ''I mean- It's doesn't seem like she exactly plays for your team.''~

 

''You said that she hadn't said barely two words since she'd gotten here. It's Been two years, If I remember correctly, it was a full on sentence.'' Was it really? He didn't remember it like that. Poinsettia's hair was in it's usual style, In deep waves going down her back. She pushed away her plate, Sasha was quick to reach out for it and gobble up the remains of her food. ''Where are you going now?'' Sasha Mused. Mikasa folded her hands and rested her chin on top. ''To bury her nose in her little fantasies.'' She spoke. Poinsettia looked away and folded her arms. ''You're just mad that you're not included in them.'' Came the girl's witty reply. 

 

The result ended in Mikasa throwing a bread slice.~~~~

 

''What do you write in that book of yours,'' Ymir asked me one night. I hesitantly looked up at her and closed my journal. ''Wouldn't you like to know?'' I teased. ''Where's Christa?''

 

''Still eating.'' She answered and sat on a nearby cot and put her hands behind her head. ''Sure, I hate not being the mysterious secretive one.'' She smirked and Raised an Eyebrow. ''It's Not erotica is it? '' I gasped and stared sideways at her. ''Erotica?!''  ''Super dirty books, Well, they can be inviting.'' I hid my face. ''It's nothing like that.'' I squeaked and held the book tightly to my chest. ''I saw Sir Speaksalittle staring at you.'' I tilted my head and Apart of me wondered what it was that Ymir had went through to make her so crazy. ''I'm sorry...What?'' She scoffed. ''Y'know, Mr.Mighty frightening six feet tall, sweating all the time?'' I stayed quiet for a while before she finally shouted. ''Bertholdt!'' I felt my eyes widen and I bit my lip. ''Ooooh. Sorry. Kind of slow here.'' ''Yeah, I gathered that.'' She growled playfully. I pretended to sketch and  put my book in my shirt. ''Well...I'm going to tire myself out with a walk.'' I trailed off. Ymir smiled. ''Don't get lost...'' She sang as I left. I kept my head down and hummed to myself.

 

I felt so sidetracked with myself lately. SO what Some quiet weirdo had a staring problem. I wasn't here for guys. I was here to prove I was worth something to my family. Not only that, I was here to Explore. I was Free now.  I was so busy caught up in my thoughts That I didn't see what was in front of me. I tripped over my feet and ran into something, It felt Clammy and warm. I looked up to see Bertholdt. he gasped and reached out. ''I'm sorry...I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you okay?''  I looked down at my arms and made a face. ''Are you...Sweating?'' I asked him while wiping myself off on my pant legs. He didn't answer, He just stared at the ground. 

 

In a way, It was the most adorable thing I'd ever seen. I giggled and shook my head. ''Eww.'' He shoved his hands In the pockets of his pant's and looked away. ''Sorry,'' He muttered and pushed past me. I glanced back at him and shook my head as I continued on to the  Market. As I turned to look at Linens, My eyes widened and I froze.... I had dropped my Journal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poinsettia IS a bit shy. She's a tomboy but not at the time time.


	3. Ch.3

''What did she say to you this time?'' ''Ew.'' Reiner turned his head in question as he stopped from fumbling with his harness. ''Ew?'' ''I-I was sweating.'' The shy male explained slowly. ''I was going to talk to her, and s-she bumped into me.. I-I got n-nervous.'' He said looking away. ''Maybe you should let it go.'' Reiner suggested. Bertholdt sighed and held up a leather bound book. ''She dropped this, I think it's a diary.'' Reiner huffed and threw down the harness. ''Maybe you should just stick with Annie,'' Bertholdt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. ''I don't like either of them. Not like that.'' ''Uh-huh.'' Reiner teased.  Bert looked down at the book again, Should he open it? ''Bertl!'' Reiner suddenly jolted upright the outburst caused him to jump a little. ''What? What is it?''

 

'The book, it's hers, Give it back to her.'' ''What did you think I was going to do with it.'' Reiner leaned back and smirked. ''I'd rather not say,'' Bertholdt scoffed and stuffed it in his pillow case. ''Bertl.'' Reiner mumbled as the bell rain, the signal for all underage soldiers to be in the bunks. ''This isn't the time to be getting close to anyone, Or falling love.'' Bertholdt looked down at his feet and shrugged. ''I know.'' He replied slowly. ''Gotcha!'' Bertholdt crossed his arms and blushed once more~

 

''I had it with me!'' She murmured,Panicked. Poinsettia ruffled he sheets and sack before clutching her pillow to her chest and looking down at her covers. She didn't remember dropping the her book in the market, goodness she hoped she hadn't dropped it in the market. Minora and Sasha sat in the edge of her bed. ''One of us might find it and give it back if you're lucky.'' The scarlet haired girl shrugged. ''I wrote a lot of stuff in there'' ''About?'' Minor asked. ''Just little fantasies about what life would be like without Titans and outside the walls.'' Minora chuckled and laid back on the bed. 'Anything about anyone here?'' Christa piped, Poinsettia hid her face and shook her head a little too quickly.

 

''Who is it?'' Sasha asked her. She'd crawled over to her and started to tug the pillow down a bit. ''No one.'' She lied smoothly and started to play with her ringlets. Truth as, she wasn't so sure herself. After the lights had gone out, She crawled up under the covers and pulled them up to her chin. Where could her journal be?! She really hoped that no one here had actually picked it up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

''That sucks, Shadis Gave you stall duty.'' I groaned and glared at Sasha. This wasn't at all what I had wanted when I had gotten here, not what I signed up for! ''Where's the danger? Where's the fighting?!'' I growled, I sighed and picked up a shovel and turned to Sasha to say goodbye. ''I'll see you at training!'' She called and skipped off. I smiled as I watched her. It made me a little sad that I didn't know her back in our home village.

 

I tied my hair back as I balanced the shovel on my knee. "Give me more attitude and I'll have you cleaning horse ass for a month!'' I remember Shadis's words clearly because they'd caused a ringing in my ears. He'd given me a rhythmic to do; Clean the stalls, Brush the horses, Feed and water them. There were over thirty-something horses in here! I slowly got to work, I made an adventure of it, it was mainly in my mind,though, I was on the tenth stall, singing, when there was a literal knock on wood. I set the shovel down and turned.

 

There stood Bertholdt, Out of uniform and with a shovel in hand. ''H-hey.'' He mumbled as he took a step into the stall. ''Hi, You're on stable duty too?'' He shuffled his feet and looked down. ''I was off reading yesterday, Attempted to skip training but...'' ''You got caught.''  He nodded and fetched something in his pocket. ''This belongs to you, right?'' I stared at it for some time. My journal! I reached for it and smiled once it got back into my hands. ''I- um.. Hope it's not a diary or anything because...'' I froze, The look on his face said it all. ''You read it?'' He shoved his hand on his pocket and looked away. ''Reiner made me!'' He professed shamefully. He bit his lip and looked at me from the corner or his eyes. I held the book to my chest and cleared my throat.

 

''Did you...Like it?'' I asked quietly. To my surprise, He'd actually smiled. ''I love the part about how the Knight is actually a princess from the scouting legion, and she saved the prince from the um...'' He choked up a little and I finished his sentence. ''The Armored Titan?'' ''Yeah, That guy. Why him?'' I shrugged and leaned up against a post. ''It seems typical doesn't it? The handsome Prince being kidnapped by a giant meter tall monster, Only to be saved by his one true love.'' I saw Bertholdt blush, but he was still smiling. ''One true love?'' He repeated, I looked at my book and exhaled. ''Wouldn't it be nice to have one?'' I asked as I followed him to a stall. ''You mean, y-you don't?'' He asked, it made me look up at him and raise an eyebrow and take  step back. 'I don't know.'' I admitted at first. ''Maybe.'' Bertholdt frowned at first and picked up a shovel. ''They're lucky.'' He murmured. I rested my head on the looking sill and tilted my head. ''Lucky?'' I questioned. I frowned a bit and watched as he shoveled old hay into a disposal bin.

 

''They probably don't even know I exist.'' I told him. ''They?'' I smirked. ''Well you don't expect me to just tell you who it is right?'' He shrugged and nodded. ''Fair enough. Do I know them?'' He asked hesitantly, as if he didn't want to know the answer to it. ''I'm sure you do.'' I replied quietly and stared off. Did I like him? it was possible.  I barely knew anything about him though. ''Poinsettia.'' He suddenly called. ''Why did you join the military?'' I bit my lip and turned away from him. ''I was tired of our provincial life, I hate order, I hate being confined.'' I murmured.

 

''I ran away from home, I left a note, And became a soldier. I want to fight titans and find adventure.'' He leaned the pitchfork up against the wall and sighed. ''Well, There's adventure, What about relationships, back home?'' ''Mm,no.'' I answered quickly.  He sighed again, relieved this time. ''So, it's someone here then?'' ''Yes?'' 

 

''Minora?'' He asked at once. I blushed and shook my head. ''No! we're friends.'' He wiped some sweat from his forehead and raised his eyebrows. ''Oh well. Mind if I ask, Is it even a guy?'' I giggled. ''Yes It is.'' He shuffled over to me and took a deep breath. ''Can I ask you, What you like about him?'' I leaned forward and smiled at him. ''I don't know much about him but, I know he's really nice, and sweet. I want to know him though, Where he comes from, What he likes and doesn't like, And I'm pretty sure he's really thoughtful.' I guessed. I looked up at Bertholdt, His green eyes, for some weird reason wouldn't meet mine. ''And he has the most beautiful eyes.''

 

''Hmm.'' Was his only reply. ''Why don't you tell him how you feel?'' ''Because I only think I like him.'' ''Then.. Tell him how you think you feel.'' I giggled again and playfully pushed him. ''What about you? I mean, I mean wouldn't it be a little hard? I don't thin he would end up Liking me.'' He blushed again, His whole face turning beet red. ''If he doesn't, Then I do.'' I hid my massive blush by turning my head. ''I...'' I turned to look at him again and smiled wide. ''I like you,too Bertholdt.''


	4. Ch.4

''I really hope you don't mind me asking you about this?'' I asked of Eren Jaeger, A titan shifter. I was walking with him. It was nice out. for a minute. It was even dare I say it, Calming? I was talking about our next expedition and how the squad leaders were using his abilities. ''What, you mean. There are more like you?!'' I asked loudly. I didn't mean to. But she sshhed me. ''Do you want to get caught talking about it?!'' He whisper shouted at me. I cringed a little and looked around. I wasn't used to seeing him around his 'Sister' Mikasa. It was odd. A part of me made a joke that she was somewhere with a scope, watching us right now.

 

''Sorry.'' I mumbled after a while. I looked at him, we were around the same height. Almost. Not really. ''But yeah. both the Armored and Colossal Titans.'' He poke softly. I felt my face go heavy as it fell. ''Woah.'' I mumbled in response. So...Any of us...Any one of these people could be.... Nah.

 

I bit my tongue for a second as I continued to walk with him. ''Hey Eren. You know Bertholdt right? you were here before I was.'' I asked curiously. ''Huh? Oh yeah...He's really quiet and Reiner says he's in love with Annie.''  _Annie?_ was that the little blonde girl about my height who almost never said a word? Eren seemed to sense my confusion because she nudged me. ''The lone wolf. You'll know her when you see her again.'' He mumbled.

 

I tried to picture her face. I don't think I wanted to. A feeling a nausea washed over me. I knew this feeling vaguely; Jealousy. I shook it away and sighed inwardly. ''Oh.'' I replied. at first, I didn't know that I had said it so disappointed like until Eren pointed it out. ''What? you like him?'' I had blushed and looked away. ''I uh. Maybe. Yes.'' I answered truthfully. ''Aww!'' He teased and dodged my elbows. ''I told him. But I don't think he knew what I meant.'' I admitted to him. ''Hey. Your secret is safe with me.'' I sighed and happily at this. ''Thanks.'' Came my quiet mumble.

 

Eren smiled, then frowned. ''Someone new just joined the Military police. I followed his gaze and my jaw dropped. I can imagine that tears were sliding off my face as I took off running.

~

''Tia! Oh my goodness. You're family thinks you're beyond dead!' He yelled at me, Fyfer Brockman was a childhood friend of mine. He was a few years older than me but a reliable person nonetheless.  He was actually best known for scolding me. He shoo angrily then pushed some of his black hair out of his face. ''And then I find out you're not even in the Military police. Perfect.'' He sighed. ''You've really signed your death certificate.'' I rolled my eyes at him. ''You're pretty stupid if you've come all this way and enlisted in the army just to yell at me.''

 

''I'm here to keep an eye on you, and write my own story.'' Stupid. He couldn't keep an eye on me from His position. and He knew it. ''I'm not a baby. I don't need looking after.'' I growled. I felt his hands fall on my shoulders and he turned me around. ''Shh. It's Okay Tia.'' He chided softly. I crossed my arms and looked up at him through my lashes. He smiled and pat my head before we began walking together. 

 

''How is my family?'' I asked curiously. I didn't really care, but I felt it would probably be right to ask.

 

''Worried sick about you. She wants you to desert and come home. ''Pass.'' I growled sharply. Fyfer sighed and stared straight ahead.

 

''You should write to her, Send her a letter to let her know you're alright.'' 

 

''Pass-.'' I said at first, then I paused. ''If I die but I'm not swallowed, Send her my ashes. Or a bone or something.'' In a flash I was turned around to Look Fyfer in his face. ''That's not very Comical, Poinsettia.'' He scowled. But It only caused me to shrug. ''I'm sorry.'' I mumbled and flexed my arms, causing him to let go. ''If and when I survive my first expedition, I'll write to her.'' I promised. We continued our walk around base and watched people, training, talking as if nothing was wrong. As If they had signed up to put their lives on the line. I honestly wasn't as concerned with how detached from my family I was. I should have been.

 

A while later, Fyfer had stopped me in my tracks and asked if there was someone I was interested in. I had just blushed and gave out a small, ''Please.''

 

''That's how I know there's someone. Who is it, An actual boy this time and not some stray cat you found.'' ''Mr.Whiskers was chaming though...Until the neighbors ate him.'' At the moment, Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt walked by and I felt the deepest pang of jealously course through me. 

''It doesn't matter. ''I said dismissing it. I didn't feel like dwelling on it.


	5. ch.5

‘’So… That thing about you liking Annie..’’ I brought up curiously in my last days in the stalls. I was so lame in the way I slid that shit in, but I had to ask, Annie was perfect. And pretty and had mastered the ultimate resting bitch face. ‘’Um.’’ I didn’t look over at Bertholdt as he prepared himself to answer me, if I was even going to get a straight answer this time.

 

‘’I did, I mean. We’re from the same homeland and everything. But, I’ve got a few options now don’t I?’’ I scowled to myself as I shoveled more soiled hay into the bin.  ‘’Annie’s perfect.’’ I mumbled unknowingly. I shook my head and wiped my brow. I didn’t notice how silent I was, I was thinking about my  _own_ options. ‘’...You’re perfect, too.’’ I paused and turned to look at the gentle giant that stood in another stall. I placed my shovel down and peered into the other stall at him. ‘’I’m sorry, I’m what?’’ I asked incredulously.

 

I felt my face heat up a bit, it was probably glowing red. ‘’Perfect.’’ He said turning his back on me. ‘’Nothing’s perfect.’’ I argued back. He looked back at me and gave me a sad smile. ‘’It’s our last day huh? Before the first expedition.’’ I sighed and rested my arms and chin on the stall door, what else could I say, The silence was awful.

 

Bertholdt looked down and pursed her perfect lips. ‘’You- Are you excited?’’

 

‘’Hell yeah!’’ I said standing upright. I nearly toppled over my shovel, Making him laugh. Deep,quiet. I liked his smile. ‘’You’re fiery, Fearless even.’’ I took in his compliment and frowned a bit. I wasn’t. I was actually fearful of a lot of things. I wasn’t Annie, And I for damn sure wasn’t Mikasa Ackerman. Now She, She’s the reason I probably had nightmares at night.

 

‘’Even if you think you’re not. I think you’ve got this.’’ I rolled my eyes. ‘’Is that the reason they called me Eren Jaegar’s equivilent?’’ I asked. Bertholdt laughed again. ‘’Now that I think about it, You do kind of remind me of him. Huh. weird.’’ I smiled to myself and continued shoveling. Maybe this wasn’t a Lost cause.

 

 **Bertholdt~** ‘’Now isn’t the time or place.’’ Reiner growled again. He rubbed his temples and leaned up against the building. ‘’I get it, She’s funny and cute and all but.. we have a mission here.’’ The blonde stared at his friend for a milli-second. His friend who was quiet and looked like he was zoning out.

‘’Bertl, What are you thinking?’’ He demanded. He crossed his strong arms and looked around for anyone who might have been eavesdropping. Slowly, He walked over to his best friend and his tone dropped. ‘’You’d better not.’’ he warned. His voice was low and stern. ‘’I don’t care how much you care about her, You’d better not tell her. we  _need_ you. Annie, I, Our homeland. We need you. Alright-’’

At this point, Bertholdt flinched away from his friend with a subtle glare. ‘’I can’t… I can’t let her get hurt. She’s willing to plunge herself into danger without a second thought.’’ Reiner’s eyes widened, the extra amount of sweat,the rosy tinge. And the fact that he was shaking like a leaf. ‘’You’re in love with her. You can’t be!’’ Bertholdt just looked down and closed his eyes. ‘’She’s- Important to me.’’  Reiner groaned. ‘’She’s not- She’s a distraction.’’ ‘’You just said she was cute and funny.’’

‘’She is, She’d be great for a late night fuck every once in a while, But that’s it.’’ Bertholdt clenched his fist and grit his teeth in annoyance. ‘’She’s not.’’ He counter argued and quickly glanced around. ‘’I won’t lose sight of what I need to do, Reiner.’’ This made Reiner scoff and roll his eyes. ‘’How did this even happen?’’ He asked, although he was just half curious. it’s not like she was prettier than Annie; both were beautiful with their perfect imperfections. Poinsettia had made herself so known, So clear, Just like Eren Jaegar had.

 

She wasn’t hesitant during her training, But she was adorably oblivious. And very easily distracted. She was cute, kind.

 

‘’Bertl.’’ The jade eyed male jerked at his name and looked straight into Reiner’s eyes. ‘’Sorry, I didn’t- Sorry.’’ Reiner’s eyes rested on his friend and he sighed heavily. ‘’You want to go eat something? The bell rang, Your  _girlfriend.-_ ’’ He sneered the word- ‘’Might be in there.’’

‘’No...And she isn’t my girlfriend.’’ He mumbled. Perhaps he would go into mess hall though. Just to see her. ‘’Nah, She’s not. Not yet anyways huh?’’ Reiner teased, He’d eased back a bit and calmed down enough to relax and throw jokes.

‘’I think you’re Bi-polar.’’ Bertholdt said with a small smile, Causing his friend to shrug. ‘’Or maybe just Bi; I wanna see her, too.’’

 


End file.
